Don't mess with old women; they didn't get old by being stupid...

AN OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR SHUFFLED INTO TOWN LEADING A TIRED OLD MULE. THE OLD WOMAN HEADED STRAIGHT FOR THE ONLY SALOON TO CLEAR HER PARCHED THROAT.

SHE WALKED UP AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCH RAIL. AS SHE STOOD

THERE, BRUSHING SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG

GUNSLINGER STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON WITH A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A

...BOTTLE OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER.



THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER LOOKED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND LAUGHED, SAYING, "HEY

OLD WOMAN, HAVE YOU EVER DANCED?"



THE OLD WOMAN LOOKED UP AT THE GUNSLINGER AND SAID, "NO, I NEVER DID

DANCE... NEVER REALLY WANTED TO."



A CROWD HAD GATHERED AS THE GUNSLINGER GRINNED AND SAID, "WELL, YOU

OLD BAG, YOU'RE GONNA DANCE NOW," AND STARTED SHOOTING AT THE OLD

WOMAN'S FEET.



THE OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR - NOT WANTING TO GET HER TOES BLOWN OFF -

STARTED HOPPING AROUND. EVERYBODY WAS LAUGHING.



WHEN HIS LAST BULLET HAD BEEN FIRED, THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER, STILL

LAUGHING, HOLSTERED HIS GUN AND TURNED AROUND TO GO BACK INTO THE

SALOON.



THE OLD WOMAN TURNED TO HER PACK MULE, PULLED OUT A DOUBLE-BARRELED

SHOTGUN, AND COCKED BOTH HAMMERS.



THE LOUD CLICKS CARRIED CLEARLY THROUGH THE DESERT AIR. THE CROWD STOPPED LAUGHING IMMEDIATELY.



THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER HEARD THE SOUNDS TOO, AND HE TURNED AROUND VERY SLOWLY. THE SILENCE WAS ALMOST DEAFENING.



THE CROWD WATCHED AS THE YOUNG GUNMAN STARED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND THE LARGE GAPING HOLES OF THOSE TWIN BARRELS.



THE BARRELS OF THE SHOTGUN NEVER WAVERED IN THE OLD WOMAN'S HANDS, AS SHE QUIETLY SAID, "SON, HAVE YOU EVER LICKED A MULE'S ASS?"



THE GUNSLINGER SWALLOWED HARD AND SAID, "NO MA'AM... BUT... I'VE

ALWAYS WANTED TO."



THERE ARE A FEW LESSONS FOR US ALL HERE:



1 - NEVER BE ARROGANT.

2 - Don't waste ammunition.

3 - Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.

4 - Always, always make sure you know who has the power.

5 - Don't mess with old women; they didn't get old by being stupid...

I JUST LOVE A STORY WITH A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?

· Sure I wave the American Flag. Do you know a better one?" ~ John Wayne