Saturday, April 13, 2013

So Satan walked up to the old man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"

People were in their pews at church. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon everyone had exited the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. 

So Satan walked up to the old man and said, "Don't you know who I am?" 

The man replied, "Yep, sure do." 

"Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked. 

"Nope, sure ain't." said the man. 

"Don't you realize I can kill you with a word?" asked Satan. 

"Don't doubt it for a minute," returned the old man, in an even tone. 

"Did you know that I could cause you profound, horrifying AGONY for all eternity?" 

"Yep," was the calm reply. 

"And you're still not afraid?" asked Satan. 

"Nope," said the old man. 

More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Well, why aren't you afraid of me?" 

The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for 48 years."

Friday, April 5, 2013

Know where you're going in life... "And after that?" asked the Mexican.

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village.

An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.

"Not very long," answered the Mexican.

“But then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the American.

The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.

The American asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs. I have a full life."

The American interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat."

"And after that?" asked the Mexican.

"With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise.

“How long would that take?" asked the Mexican.

Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years," replied the American.

And after that?"

Afterwards? Well my Friend, that's when it gets really interesting," answered the American, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start selling stocks and make millions!" Millions?

“Really? And after that?" asked the Mexican.

“After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends.“

And the moral of this story is: Know where you're going in life... you may already be there.