A new graduate from Texas A&M named Bubba from College Station Texas decided to travel across the State of TEXAS to see God'S country. When he got to CARTHAGE in east TEXAS, he liked the place so much that he decided to stay. But first he had find a job!!!!
Bubba walked into the International Paper Company office and filled out an application as an experienced log inspector. It was his lucky day!! They just happened to be looking for someone right then. But first, the log foreman took him for a ride into the forest in the company pickup truck to see how much he knew.
The foreman stopped the truck on the side of the road and pointed at a tree and said "See that tree over there? I want you to tell me what species it is and how many board feet of lumber it contains."
Bubba promptly answered, "That thar's a white pine, and thar's 383 board feet of lumber in 'er."
The foreman was impressed!!! He put the truck back in gear and started driving again. He stopped about a mile down the road and pointed at another tree through the passenger window. The foreman asked the same two questions as before. This time it was a bigger tree of a different class.
The redneck replied, "That's a loblolly pine and she's got about 456 clear board feet."
The foreman was really impressed with this good ol' boy. This redneck was quick and he got the answers right without using a calculator!!! But the foreman wanted to do one more test.
They drove a little further down the road, and the foreman stopped the truck again. This time, he pointed across the road and said, "And what about that one?"
Before the foreman could finish pointing, Bubba said, "White oak, and 242 board feet at best."
The foreman spun the truck around and headed back to the office a little ticked off because he thinks the redneck is smarter than himself. As they neared the office, the foreman stopped the truck and asked Bubba to step out of the truck. The foreman handed him a piece of chalk and told him, "See that tree over there? I want you to mark an "X" on the front of that tree!!" The foreman thinks to himself, "Idiot, how will he know which is the front of a tree?"
When Bubba reaches the tree, he walks around it in a circle while looking at the ground. He reaches up and places a white "X" on the trunk. The redneck then walked back to the foreman and handed him the chalk. "That thar's the front," Bubba said.
The foreman laughs to himself and asks sarcastically, "How in hell do you know that's the front of the tree?"
The good ol' boy looks down at his feet, while rubbing the toe of his left boot cleaning it in the gravel and replied, "Cuz someone took a shit behind it!"
Bubba got the job~!