The 12 Days of Christmas : now I know how that strange song became a Christmas Carol

There is one Christmas Carol that has always baffled me. What in the world 
do leaping lords, French hens, swimming swans, and especially
the partridge who won't come out of the pear tree have to do with Christmas?

"The Twelve Days of Christmas" is a cumulative song, meaning that each verse is built on top of the previous verses. There are twelve verses, each describing a gift given by "my true love" on one of the twelve days of Christmas.

...and so forth, until the last verse:

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

12 Drummers Drumming

11 Pipers Piping

10 Lords-a-Leaping

9 Ladies Dancing

8 Maids-a-Milking

7 Swans-a-Swimming

6 Geese-a-Laying

5 Gold Rings

4 Calling  Birds

3 French Hens

2 Turtle Doves

And a Partridge in a Pear Tree.

From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were not permitted to 
practice their faith openly. Someone during that era used the carol
as a catechism song for young Catholics. It has two levels of meaning: the 
surface meaning of gift giving  plus a hidden meaning known only to members of
the Catholic Church. Each element in the carol has a code word for a religious 
reality which the children could remember.

-The partridge in a pear tree was Jesus Christ on the Cross for our Sins.

-Two turtle doves were the Old and New Testaments of the Holy Bible.

-Three French hens stood for faith, hope and love of Jesus for us.

-The four calling birds were the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.

-The five golden rings recalled the Torah or Law, the first five books of 
the Old Testament.

-The six geese a-laying stood for the six days of creation.

-Seven swans a-swimming represented the seven-fold gifts of the Holy 
Spirit --- Prophesy,Serving, Teaching, Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy.

-The eight maids a-milking were the eight beatitudes.

-Nine ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit ---Love, Joy, 
Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self 
Control.

-The ten lords a-leaping were the ten commandments.

-The eleven pipers piping stood for the eleven faithful disciples.

-The twelve drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief in the 
Apostles' Creed.

So there is your history for today. This knowledge was shared with me and I 
found it interesting and enlightening and now I know how that strange song 
became a Christmas Carol...so pass it on if you wish.

CHUCKLES THE SAD CLOWN

The horrifically moving story of CHUCKLES THE SAD CLOWN

Chuckles was only attempting to pull a daisy from behind a little boy’s ear when the child screamed in fear.

 The boy began kicking causing Chuckles to lose balance. As he fell down the seven steps, his rubber nose squeaked each time his face hit the cement. Dazed, he tried to get up but fell backwards into a newly laid batch of elephant dung.

 Zippy, Bongo, Cupcake and some other clowns rushed toward him but instead of helping, they pelted him with cream pies and pounded him with fake mallets.

 Chuckles slowly raised his bloodied head and saw the young boy beaming with uproarious laughter.

 It was at that moment he thought about this life in show business. 
Through his cream pie filled mouth, Chuckles whispered “Just what is so damn funny?”

A CHRISTMAS DREAM

Eight year old Jonathan was having the dream again. He had been having the same dream several nights in a row. It was the one with the two Santas. Every night the same thing would happen. Just as the Santas were about to turn and reveal their faces, the dream would abruptly end. 

On this night something different occurred. The dream went on a tiny bit longer. Jonathan suddenly woke up, jumped out of bed and quietly made his way to the hallway.

He looked down the stairway at his parents as they were carefully placing his presents under the Christmas tree. He went back to bed and slept soundly knowing the Santas would be with him all year around.

One the 12 Days of Christmas...

On the 12 Days of Christmas our vent unit gave to us ...












12 Vents alarms alarming,

11 Pumps a beeping,

10 Call lights buzzing,

9 Families a grumbling,

8 Hours of overtime,

7 Toilets a flushing,

6 Pulse ox's a singing,

FIIIIIIVE DRAMA QUEEEEEEENSSSSSSSSSSSSS

4 Doctors Calling,

3 Call offs,

2 Nurses laughing ,

and one med pass to go.

Being the 'Kind Hearted man'

Got an email from my dad ....




Frank and his girl-friend walked past a swanky new restaurant.



"Did you smell that food?" she asked... "Wonderful!"

...

Being the 'Kind Hearted man', he thought,



"What the heck, I'll treat her!"



... So they walked past it again...

One man's Funnies

Found a new Funnies Blog today:

One Man's

 

Funnies

check  out  Paul Ma 's posting here: http://onemanadreaming.blogspot.com/

I just go and clean the toilet...

A blonde walks into a bank

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank; she has the title, and everything checks out.

The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Rolls into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the blonde returns and repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says,“Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely; but we are a little puzzled. We checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is - why would you bother to borrow $5,000?”


The blond replies…..”Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?”

I was shopping with my girlfriend in Walmart.

 I picked up a case of beer and put in the cart.

 "What are you doing?" my girlfriend asked. I said, "It's only $10 for 24 cans." She said, "Well, we can't afford it, put it back." So I put it back

We continued shopping. A couple aisles later, my girlfriend picked up a $20 jar of face cream. I said, "What's that for?" She answered, "It's my face cream. It makes me beautiful."

 I said, "Well hell, so does a case of beer and it's half the cost."

That's me lying in aisle 5........

A bed by the hospital window.

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.



Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

...

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.



The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.



As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.



One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by.



Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it. In his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.



Days and weeks passed.



One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.



As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.



Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.



He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.



It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window



The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.



She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you".

Best Aggie Joke for 2012: The Aggie Tree Expert

Personal Photo Licensed: http://photography.colinpurrington.com/

A new graduate from Texas A&M  named Bubba from College Station Texas decided to travel across the State of TEXAS to see God'S country. When he got to CARTHAGE in east TEXAS, he liked the place so much that he decided to stay. But first he had find a job!!!!




Bubba walked into the International Paper Company office and filled out an application as an experienced log inspector. It was his lucky day!! They just happened to be looking for someone right then. But first, the log foreman took him for a ride into the forest in the company pickup truck to see how much he knew.



The foreman stopped the truck on the side of the road and pointed at a tree and said "See that tree over there? I want you to tell me what species it is and how many board feet of lumber it contains."

...

Bubba promptly answered, "That thar's a white pine, and thar's 383 board feet of lumber in 'er."



The foreman was impressed!!! He put the truck back in gear and started driving again. He stopped about a mile down the road and pointed at another tree through the passenger window. The foreman asked the same two questions as before. This time it was a bigger tree of a different class.



The redneck replied, "That's a loblolly pine and she's got about 456 clear board feet."



The foreman was really impressed with this good ol' boy. This redneck was quick and he got the answers right without using a calculator!!! But the foreman wanted to do one more test.



They drove a little further down the road, and the foreman stopped the truck again. This time, he pointed across the road and said, "And what about that one?"



Before the foreman could finish pointing, Bubba said, "White oak, and 242 board feet at best."



The foreman spun the truck around and headed back to the office a little ticked off because he thinks the redneck is smarter than himself. As they neared the office, the foreman stopped the truck and asked Bubba to step out of the truck. The foreman handed him a piece of chalk and told him, "See that tree over there? I want you to mark an "X" on the front of that tree!!" The foreman thinks to himself, "Idiot, how will he know which is the front of a tree?"



When Bubba reaches the tree, he walks around it in a circle while looking at the ground. He reaches up and places a white "X" on the trunk. The redneck then walked back to the foreman and handed him the chalk. "That thar's the front," Bubba said.



The foreman laughs to himself and asks sarcastically, "How in hell do you know that's the front of the tree?"



The good ol' boy looks down at his feet, while rubbing the toe of his left boot cleaning it in the gravel and replied, "Cuz someone took a shit behind it!"



Bubba got the job~!

The Secluded Garden

Frank is 85 and lives in a Senior Citizens Home. Every night after dinner he goes to a secluded garden behind the home to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life. One evening, Mildred, age 82, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat and before they know it, several hours have passed. After a short lull in their conversation, Frank turns to Mildred and asks, 'Do you know what I miss most of all?' She asks, 'What?'' "Sex." he replies. Mildred exclaims, 'Why you old fart. You couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!' 'I know,' Frank says, 'but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it for awhile.' "Well, I can oblige," says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it. Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Frank's manhood. Then one night Frank didn't show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Mildred decided to find him and make sure he was O.K. She walked around the Senior Citizen Home where she found him sitting by the pool with Ethel, another female resident, who was holding Frank's manhood! Furious, Mildred yelled, 'You two-timing son-of-a-b*tch! What does Ethel have that I don't have?' Old Frank smiled happily and replied, "Parkinson's."

Don't mess with old women; they didn't get old by being stupid...

AN OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR SHUFFLED INTO TOWN LEADING A TIRED OLD MULE. THE OLD WOMAN HEADED STRAIGHT FOR THE ONLY SALOON TO CLEAR HER PARCHED THROAT.

SHE WALKED UP AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCH RAIL. AS SHE STOOD

THERE, BRUSHING SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG

GUNSLINGER STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON WITH A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A

...BOTTLE OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER.



THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER LOOKED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND LAUGHED, SAYING, "HEY

OLD WOMAN, HAVE YOU EVER DANCED?"



THE OLD WOMAN LOOKED UP AT THE GUNSLINGER AND SAID, "NO, I NEVER DID

DANCE... NEVER REALLY WANTED TO."



A CROWD HAD GATHERED AS THE GUNSLINGER GRINNED AND SAID, "WELL, YOU

OLD BAG, YOU'RE GONNA DANCE NOW," AND STARTED SHOOTING AT THE OLD

WOMAN'S FEET.



THE OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR - NOT WANTING TO GET HER TOES BLOWN OFF -

STARTED HOPPING AROUND. EVERYBODY WAS LAUGHING.



WHEN HIS LAST BULLET HAD BEEN FIRED, THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER, STILL

LAUGHING, HOLSTERED HIS GUN AND TURNED AROUND TO GO BACK INTO THE

SALOON.



THE OLD WOMAN TURNED TO HER PACK MULE, PULLED OUT A DOUBLE-BARRELED

SHOTGUN, AND COCKED BOTH HAMMERS.



THE LOUD CLICKS CARRIED CLEARLY THROUGH THE DESERT AIR. THE CROWD STOPPED LAUGHING IMMEDIATELY.



THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER HEARD THE SOUNDS TOO, AND HE TURNED AROUND VERY SLOWLY. THE SILENCE WAS ALMOST DEAFENING.



THE CROWD WATCHED AS THE YOUNG GUNMAN STARED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND THE LARGE GAPING HOLES OF THOSE TWIN BARRELS.



THE BARRELS OF THE SHOTGUN NEVER WAVERED IN THE OLD WOMAN'S HANDS, AS SHE QUIETLY SAID, "SON, HAVE YOU EVER LICKED A MULE'S ASS?"



THE GUNSLINGER SWALLOWED HARD AND SAID, "NO MA'AM... BUT... I'VE

ALWAYS WANTED TO."



THERE ARE A FEW LESSONS FOR US ALL HERE:



1 - NEVER BE ARROGANT.

2 - Don't waste ammunition.

3 - Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.

4 - Always, always make sure you know who has the power.

5 - Don't mess with old women; they didn't get old by being stupid...

I JUST LOVE A STORY WITH A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?

· Sure I wave the American Flag. Do you know a better one?" ~ John Wayne

Bob and Ralph were fishing

Bob and Ralph were fishing on the

Irish shoreline when Bob

Pulled out a cigar. Finding he had
No matches, he asked Ralph for a light.



...'Ya, Shure, I tink I have a loiter,'

Ralph replied, and then reaching into his tackle

Box, he pulled out a Bic lighter 10 inches long.



'BeeJaysus, man!' exclaimed Bob, taking

The huge Bic Lighter in his hands.

'Where'd yew git dat monster?'



'Well,' replied Ralph,

'I got it from me Genie.'



'You have a Genie?' Bob asked.



'Ya, Shure. It's right here in me tackle

Box,' says Ralph.



'Could I see him?'



Ralph opens his tackle box and

Sure enough, out pops the Genie.



Addressing the Genie, Bob says,

'Hey derr! I'm a good pal of

Yer master. Will you grant me

One wish?'



'Yes, I will,' says the Genie.



So Bob asks the Genie for a

Million bucks. The Genie disappears

Back into the tackle box leaving

Bob sitting there waiting for his million

Bucks. Shortly, the Irish sky

Darkens and is filled with the sound of

A million ducks.....

Flying directly overhead.



Over the roar of the million ducks

Bob yells at Ralph,

'What the hell? I asked for a million

Bucks, not a million ducks!'

Ralph answers,

'Ya, I forgot to tell yew dat Genie

Is hard of hearing. Ditchyew really tink

dat I asked for a 10 inch Bic?'

A man came home from work...

A man came home from work and found his 5 children outside, still in their pyjamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn around garden, The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and no sign of the dog, walking in the door, he found ...an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, the throw rug was against one wall, In the front... room the TV was on loudly with the cartoon channel, the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door. He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pyjamas, reading a novel... She looked up at him, smiled and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, 'What happened here today?' She again smiled and answered, 'You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world do I do all day?... ''Yes," was his incredulous reply.. She answered, 'Well, today I didn't do it.’

A Bit of History: Hellmann's Mayonnaise

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England . In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico , which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York . This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico . But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York . The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico , who were crazy about mayonnaise and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day. The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as - Sinko De Mayo.

How to Tell the Sex of a Fly

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her
husband stalking around with a fly swatter

"What are you doing?"
... She asked..

"Hunting Flies"
He responded.

"Oh. ! Killing any?"
She asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.

Intrigued, she asked.
"How can you tell them apart?"

He responded,
"3 were on a beer can,
2 were on the phone.

FROG HAT

"Last fall my 9-year-old son, Austin, had his tonsils removed. Before the surgery, Austin's anesthesiologist came to start an IV. He was wearing a cool surgical cap covered in colorful frogs. Austin loved that "frog hat."
The doctor explained that he had two choices. He could either try to start the IV, or he could wait until Austin was up in the operating room. In the OR the doctor would give Austin some "goofy" gas, and start the IV when he was more relaxed.
"So, Austin," he asked, "which do you want?" Austin replied,
"I'll take the gas." But when the doctor started to leave, Austin called, "Hey, wait."
The doctor turned. “Yeah, buddy, what do you need?"
"Do you go to church?"
"No," the doctor admitted. "I know I probably should, but I don't."
Austin then asked, "Well, are you saved?"
Chuckling nervously, the doctor said, "Nope. But after talking to you, maybe it's something I should consider."
Pleased with his response, Austin answered, "Well, you should, 'cause Jesus is great!"
"I'm sure He is, little guy," the doctor said, and quickly made his exit.
After that a nurse took me to the waiting room. Someone would come and get me when Austin's surgery was done.
After about 45 minutes, the anesthesiologist came into the waiting room. He told me the surgery went well and then said, "Mrs. Blessitt, I don't usually come down and talk to the parents after a surgery, but I just had to tell you what your son did."
"Oh boy,” I thought. “What did that little rascal do now?”
The doctor explained that he'd just put the mask on Austin when my son signaled that he needed to say something. When the doctor removed the mask, Austin blurted, "Wait a minute, we have to pray!"
The doctor told him to go ahead, and Austin prayed, "Dear Lord, please let all the doctors and nurses
have a good day. And Jesus, please let the doctor
with the frog hat get saved and start going to church. Amen."
The doctor admitted this touched him. "I was so
sure he would pray that his surgery would go well,"
he explained. "He didn't even mention his surgery.
He prayed for me! Mrs Blessitt, I had to come down and let you know what a great little guy you have."
A few minutes later a nurse came to take me to post-op. She had a big smile on her face as we walked to the elevator.
"Mrs. Blessitt, I couldn't wait to tell you something exciting that your son did."
With a smile, I told her that the doctor already mentioned Austin's prayer.
"But there's something you don't know," she said. "Some of the other nurses and I have been witnessing to and praying for that doctor for a long time. After your son's surgery, he tracked a few of us down to tell us about Austin's prayer.
He said, "Well girls, you got me. If that little boy could pray for me when he was about to have surgery,
then I think maybe I need his Jesus too."
She then recounted how they joined the doctor as he prayed to receive Christ right there in the hospital.
Wow! Austin had played a small part in something wonderful. But then, so did the nurses who prayed and witnessed.
I thought about John's words in his Gospel, "One sows and theother reaps"
(John 4:37 ).
Austin's experience taught me that, although we never know which role we may be called to play, in the end it doesn't matter. What's important is that we remain faithful in sharing the gospel.
My 9-year-old's last-second request surprised his doctor and taught me a valuable lesson about sharing the gospel....Tina Blessitt
Tina Blessitt, a freelance writer, lives with her husband and four children in Kentucky ...

FROG HAT

"Last fall my 9-year-old son, Austin, had his tonsils removed. Before the surgery, Austin's anesthesiologist came to start an IV. He was wearing a cool surgical cap covered in colorful frogs. Austin loved that "frog hat."
The doctor explained that he had two choices. He could either try to start the IV, or he could wait until Austin was up in the operating room. In the OR the doctor would give Austin some "goofy" gas, and start the IV when he was more relaxed.
"So, Austin," he asked, "which do you want?" Austin replied,
"I'll take the gas." But when the doctor started to leave, Austin called, "Hey, wait."
The doctor turned. “Yeah, buddy, what do you need?"
"Do you go to church?"
"No," the doctor admitted. "I know I probably should, but I don't."
Austin then asked, "Well, are you saved?"
Chuckling nervously, the doctor said, "Nope. But after talking to you, maybe it's something I should consider."
Pleased with his response, Austin answered, "Well, you should, 'cause Jesus is great!"
"I'm sure He is, little guy," the doctor said, and quickly made his exit.
After that a nurse took me to the waiting room. Someone would come and get me when Austin's surgery was done.
After about 45 minutes, the anesthesiologist came into the waiting room. He told me the surgery went well and then said, "Mrs. Blessitt, I don't usually come down and talk to the parents after a surgery, but I just had to tell you what your son did."
"Oh boy,” I thought. “What did that little rascal do now?”
The doctor explained that he'd just put the mask on Austin when my son signaled that he needed to say something. When the doctor removed the mask, Austin blurted, "Wait a minute, we have to pray!"
The doctor told him to go ahead, and Austin prayed, "Dear Lord, please let all the doctors and nurses
have a good day. And Jesus, please let the doctor
with the frog hat get saved and start going to church. Amen."
The doctor admitted this touched him. "I was so
sure he would pray that his surgery would go well,"
he explained. "He didn't even mention his surgery.
He prayed for me! Mrs Blessitt, I had to come down and let you know what a great little guy you have."
A few minutes later a nurse came to take me to post-op. She had a big smile on her face as we walked to the elevator.
"Mrs. Blessitt, I couldn't wait to tell you something exciting that your son did."
With a smile, I told her that the doctor already mentioned Austin's prayer.
"But there's something you don't know," she said. "Some of the other nurses and I have been witnessing to and praying for that doctor for a long time. After your son's surgery, he tracked a few of us down to tell us about Austin's prayer.
He said, "Well girls, you got me. If that little boy could pray for me when he was about to have surgery,
then I think maybe I need his Jesus too."
She then recounted how they joined the doctor as he prayed to receive Christ right there in the hospital.
Wow! Austin had played a small part in something wonderful. But then, so did the nurses who prayed and witnessed.
I thought about John's words in his Gospel, "One sows and theother reaps"
(John 4:37 ).
Austin's experience taught me that, although we never know which role we may be called to play, in the end it doesn't matter. What's important is that we remain faithful in sharing the gospel.
My 9-year-old's last-second request surprised his doctor and taught me a valuable lesson about sharing the gospel....Tina Blessitt
Tina Blessitt, a freelance writer, lives with her husband and four children in Kentucky ...