"Old is when ...."

1. "OLD" IS WHEN..... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and 
make love," and you answer, "Honey, I can't do both!" 

2. "OLD" IS WHEN..... Your friends compliment you on your new 
alligator shoes and you're barefoot. 

3. "OLD" IS WHEN..... A sexy babe catches your fancy and your 
pacemaker opens the garage door. 

4. "OLD" IS WHEN..... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of 
your face. 

5. "OLD" IS WHEN..... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along. 

6. "OLD" IS WHEN..... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police. 

7. "OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting a little action" means I don't need 
to take any fiber today. 

8. "OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in 
the parking lot. 

9. "OLD" IS WHEN..... An "all nighter" means not getting up to 
pee!!..