Amazing Japanese Fake Pool

How the substitute became the regular organist

The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play 'Here's a copy of the service,' he said impatiently. 'But, you'll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances.' During the service, the minister paused and said, 'Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up'. At that moment, the substitute organist played 'The Star Spangled Banner.' And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!

Everyone waits to the last minute to get ready for that long trip....

A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend..  The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him.  Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.  'Reverend,' said the young man, 'I'm so sorry about the delay.  It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip.'  The minister chuckled, 'I know what you mean.  It's the same in my business.'

Catholic Heart Attack

A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store.

A store clerk called 911 when they saw him collapse

to the floor.

The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery.

He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the
care of nuns at the Catholic Hospital he was taken to.

A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clip board

loaded with several papers.

She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment.

He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."

The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?"

He replied, "No money in the bank."

"Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?" asked the irritated nun.

He said, "I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun."

The nun became agitated and announced loudly,

"Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God."

The patient replied:

"Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law."

Got a Rat Snake Problem with your car, truck or van?

Fifty bucks is fifty bucks

Ed and his wife Norma go to the state fair every year,
And every year Ed would say, " Norma, I'd like to ride in that helicopter "
Norma always replied, " I know Ed , but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks,
And fifty bucks is fifty bucks! "
One year Ed and Norma went to the fair, and Ed said, " Norma, I'm 75 years old.
If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance "
To this, Norma replied, " Ed, that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks "
The pilot overheard the couple and said, " Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny!
But if you say one word it's fifty dollars. "
Ed and Norma agreed and up they went.
The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard.
He did his daredevil tricks over and over again,
But still not a word...
When they landed, the pilot turned to Ed and said, " By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed! "
Ed replied, " Well, to tell you the truth I almost said something when Norma fell out, But you know, Fifty bucks is fifty bucks! "

American History on a Facebook Wall