Friday, June 27, 2014

A young man was getting ready to graduate from college.

For many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealers showroom, and knowing his
father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted.
As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father
had purchased the car. Finally, on the morning of his graduation, his father
called him into his private study, told him how proud he was to have such a
fine son, and how much he loved him. He handed him a beautifully wrapped
gift box.
Curious, but somewhat disappointed, the young man opened the box and found
a lovely, leather-bound Bible, with his name embossed in gold. Angrily, he
raised his voice to his father and said, "With all your money you give me a
Bible?" He stormed out of the house, leaving the Bible behind.
Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He
had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very
old. He thought perhaps he should go to him. He had not seen him since that
graduation day. But before he could make arrangements, he received a
telegram telling him his father had passed away, and willed all of his
possessions to him. He needed to come home immediately and take care of
When he arrived at his father's house, sadness and regret filled his
heart. He began to search through his father's important documents and saw
the Bible, new, just as he had left it years ago. With tears, he opened the
Bible and began to turn the pages. His father had carefully underlined a
Matt 7:11, "And if ye, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your
children, how much more shall your Heavenly Father which is in Heaven, give
to those who ask Him?" As he read those words, a car key dropped from the
back of the Bible.It had a tag with the dealers name, the same dealer who
had the sports car he had desired.
On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words...PAID IN FULL.
How many times do we miss God's blessings because they are not packaged as
we expected?

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Yesterday, government scientists suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption

Yesterday, government scientists suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Happy Father's Day George W. Bush ... and President Obama

... on the topic of ending the Bush Wars and returning our troops home to their families and friends and for providing meaningful support once they return home for medical care, education, job searches, for the job they have done for all of us in wars that lasted a generation and never seemed to affect us in any way. It is like we simply forgot that our military was waging a war ... and we accepted no responsibility for their lives, their deaths, and their pain and suffering and that of their families and friends who were very much aware hour by hour, day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year, decade by decade... birthday by birthday... holiday by holiday.

 Happy Fathers Day 
George W. Bush and President Obama.

But a BIG RED note in red marker on that same hand drier that all our elected representatives blew hot, smoke up our asses in this Century. And we washed our hands and did nothing.

Friday, June 6, 2014

A pirate walked into a bar

Check out:
A pirate walked into a bar, and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible." "What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine." "What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before." "Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now." The bartender replied, "Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?" The pirate explained, "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I'm fine, really." "What about that eye patch?" "Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them s*** in my eye." "You're kidding," said the bartender. "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird s***. "It was my first day with the hook."

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Pennies from Heaven

Zip Lock Baggies of water and pennies ...........who knew?
We went with friends to a restaurant on Sunday for lunch and sat in the patio section beside the store. We happened to notice zip lock baggies pinned to a post and a wall. The bags were half filled with ...water, each contained 4 pennies, and they were zipped shut. Naturally we were curious! The owner told us that these baggies kept the flies away! So naturally we were even more curious! We actually watched some flies come in the open window, stand around on the window sill, and then fly out again. And there were no flies in the eating area! This morning I checked this out on Google. Below are comments on this fly control idea. I'm now a believer! Zip-lock water bags: #1 Says: I tried the zip lock bag and pennies this weekend. I have a horse trailer. The flies were bad while I was camping. I put the baggies with pennies above the door of the LQ. NOT ONE FLY came in the trailer.The horse trailer part had many. Not sure why it works but it does! #2 Says:Fill a zip lock bag with water and 5 or 6 pennies and hang it in the problem area. In my case it was a particular window in my home. It had a slight passage way for insects. Every since I have done that, it has kept flies and wasps away. Some say that wasps and flies mistake the bag for some other insect nest and are threatened. #3 Says:I swear by the plastic bag of water trick. I have them on porch and basement. We saw these in Northeast Mo. at an Amish grocery store& have used them since. They say it works because a fly sees a reflection& won't come around. #4 Says:Regarding the science behind zip log bags of water? My research found that the millions of molecules of water presents its own prism effect and given that flies have a lot of eyes, to them it's like a zillion disco balls reflecting light, colors and movement in a dizzying manner. When you figure that flies are prey for many other bugs, animals, birds, etc., they simply won't take the risk of being around that much perceived action. I moved to a rural area and thought these "hillbillies" were just yanking my city boy chain but I tried it and it worked immediately! We went from hundreds of flies to seeing the occasional one, but he didn't hang around long.